Monday, April 19, 2010

Can I start a controversy?

So....not being one to want to start a controversy, I thought I would ask you ~ my readers,  a question...

This morning I was reading a post over at my friends blog.. TyNy Family Updates
and she was discussing the merritts of whether you were a better mother, and more patient
as a young mom, or a first time mom over forty...
I believe the word they used when I had my son was "geriatric"
Give me a break...LOL!

Well...I have a kind of unique perspective on this whole thing of course,
being as I couldn't do ANYTHING in the normal or expected way,
and had my first three kids when I was in my early twenties,
and my last two once I hit 40....
Not that I think my experience is the only answer,
but it is unique...don't you think?

So here gos...
Just my experience.

I find that I am a more patient mom now then I used to be...
(I am sure my girls will want to add their two bits...LOL)
It was funny, but the day before I read that post, my hubby and I were discussing
how different we are now as parents...
I have a lot more understanding when my kiddos don't react the way they should,
I react less to the whole tantrum thing...In fact often getting the "look" from
other parents who think I should be "disciplining " my disobedient babes...
Often also getting looks of contempt when I say things like
"You will live - your sisters did...." when they throw themselves on the floor in writhing
screaming temper..
Not to say I am always patient when they throw fits..LOL!
If you want here..
and most of all I find I laugh a lot more at their "bad" behavior...
I don't care if they are perfect in church..
or if they are always clean, or if they have been eating dirt...
(What is a little extra roughage...right??)
If they eat change off the floor..
I just take it out of their allowance...  :O

I am definately enjoying being a parent more...
I know how fast they go away from home...
(all three of my oldest are now on their own)
and I know how I felt "empty nest" even when I thought I wouldn't.
I discovered I LOVE being a "over 40 " mom.

Not that I always find it easy...
I don't have as much energy,
so the sleepless nights are harder,
I have more health problems then I used to have..

Overall...I have found the whole experience interesting...
That being said, I am not sure if it is my age that affects my experience?
Or if it has been the school of hard knocks...
And I am VERY SURE that as I mature in the Lord,
I am changing daily into someone VERY different from who I used to be..
Also of course, I am NOT a first time mom...
So I can't speak from that angle..
I have already learned some hard lessons,
and feel very blessed to be able to fix some things
(So I can screw up something else...LOL!)
That's OK...As I told my daughter Brandy yesterday
When she brought over her new boyfriend for supper,
If I embarrass you to much...there is always counselling!!!

So...Weigh in on the question..
Let me know what you think.


natanis said...

I find that I am also a more patient parent the older I get. I'm a few years behind you yet, but I think that my age is definitely a benefit to my children:)

I do however know some young mom's who are absolutely amazing. They have such love and patience for their kids. I admire them for having such maturity at a young age.

I think it all comes down to maturity. I have seen parents that have 10 or 15 years on me that show no love or concern for their children's well being. A lot of that is how we were raised and who we are. Some of us were just blessed with really loving parents. Some people just have it in them to never be to their children who their parents were to them. It's definitely an interesting journey, that's for sure:)

carissa @ lowercase letters said...

i think being a mom over 40 keeps you young!!! my mom is 48 (i'm 25) and my youngest sibling is 9. she had two kids in her twenties and two kids in her late 30's. i think they keep her young... she doesn't even look old enough to be the grandma of my kids! i'm hoping i'll become more patient, the older i get. right now, i'm a first time mom (baby #2 will be here soon, though!) and feel clueless. thank God the Lord gives me the wisdom I need to raise His blessings!

VKT said...


I had three miscarriages before my daughter was born. (I was 35 at the time.) I don't think age matters as much as a person's commitment to being a Mom. I have seen young mothers neglect and abuse their children and I am sure there are older mothers guilty of the same. But what do I know, I just teach kindergarten.

jackie said...

I'm 32, have a 3 year old, and I am really, really hoping that I have more patience as I get older. I think I'm a pretty good mom, but those tantrums really drive me insane.

Anonymous said...

Hmm...I think this might be on an individual basis. Some folks are more patient than others. I was a young mother and patience didn't affect me too much.

Peggy said...

Well, I think it is a little of all the above comments. I had my first son at age 20 , and my last daughter at age 34.
To be honest,I think it was that I learned so much with each child that it made the experience with the next one so much easier and relaxing.
The best part was I never got out of the "child" mold, as my first grandson was born when my youngest was 12--so we just kept on going:) It has kept us young at heart.