Thursday, June 10, 2010

I'm no soccer mom.

Sometimes I feel like I failure as a parent.
There...I said it.
I know it isn't true...
but after days like today...that's how I feel.

Jeremy REALLY wanted to play soccer this year...
He loves running..he loves kicking the ball...
I wasn't sure how he would do,
He doesn't always play well with others, 
and other parents with kids the same age
said three year olds and soccer, don't work together well...
so I expected problems...
but  I obviously didn't think it through enough..
because I should have expected the issues that came up,
but somehow I expected other problems...

Soccer was cursed this year from the start.
Sign up went well enough..
They asked me to do their computer work,
but two months passed, and I never got an e-mail
and I never heard from them again..
until the day soccer was supposed to start..
and then..I got a call saying that there was no game that day
the feilds were too wet.
Good thing..since I didn't know we were supposed to start that day..

The next week, we went to the feild...looking for the kids..
I saw four groups..and none of them knew who Jeremy was.
and of one had told us which team we were on..
and never having done this before, 
I never thought to ask on the phone.
The first person I went to told me I was at the wrong park...
and none of the other coaches even tried to help me..

till this guy,,,
He was SOO awesome.. He  let Jeremy play on his team..
and said we could just stay on his team until we figured things out.
and Jeremy just loved him...
I wish we had just stayed on his team..

He played quite happily, and we thought all was well...
The following week, we came again, after finding out who the coach was
(It turned out to be the lady who told me I was at the wrong park..)
and from there it just went down hill.
Jeremy didn't want to play.
He cried and just stood by me and grandma.
He wouldn't talk to the new coach
and he wouldn't play with the kids.
The new team was disorganised,'
and I could also tell the coaches were frustrated 
with my son's lack of cooperation.
The next two weeks it rained..
so no games..
and then today.
At first Jeremy did well...
He followed directions pretty good,
but then when it came to the game,
he cried when they took away the ball..
and he wouldn't run with the kids.
We tried pleading, cajoling, threatening...even bribing
The coach was frustrated, which made me tense...
and I finally gave up, and told Jeremy we were going home.
Then of course he went into full tantrum mode.
Parents gave me the evil eye..
then I was even more embarrassed..
We won't be going back for the last game.

I should have known after "library time" that it wouldn't go well.
Jeremy is really shy...and it comes across as rudeness...
He is great if the teacher is understanding,
and Jeremy knows he is liked..'
but not so much when he isn't sure about the teacher
and there are lots of other kids.

I always seem to be the parent with the misbehaving kids.
At library time, Jeremy (and now Gracie) 
have tantrums, run around, and misbehave
while all the other kids sit quietly and listen to the stories.
I have stuck to my guns at library, 
because in the end I know how important reading is for my kids
and they both love it, (despite evidence to the contrary)
and have been rewarded by a one year old who knows some letters
and a three year old who is starting to read,
And so I have endured the rolled eyes, and the 
"can't you control your kids" looks..
and the shocked expressions when it has become to much..
and the teacher who isn't super fond of my little ones...
and I have dragged both children freaking out at the tops of their little lungs to the car..
and home when I could no longer get them to listen.
I have mostly won now.
Jeremy has settled and sits with the rest, 
and even though it isn't her class..
Gracie sits with brother and sits in on the craft.
BUT this isn't library....

My son is just not ready for this right now.
He really wants to play..
but he just doesn't seem ready for the reality.
(Gracie was...she kept trying to play..too bad she was too young..)
You would think I would be better at this.
after five kids...

The funny thing is...My little ones are really good kids. home. at church.
He loves Sunday School, and his teacher can't say enough 
about how well he behaves in class...
and he sits really nice in church.
He is polite, and says please and thankyou,
and says sorry when he hurts your feelings..
Plus I just like him...and not just because he is mine.
He is a really great kid!
He just seems to melt down in certain situations..

So...I am just curious..
Are you willing to share your embarrassing 
parent moments with us?
or are we the only ones out there...


jackie said...

My son is in soccer too. He does great with the exercises they have them do, but when it comes to playing a game, he gets super frustrated. He loves running and kicking the ball and having control of it, but he gets so mad when he can't get the ball away from a player or when they take it from him. He throws tantrums, starts saying he can't do it and doesn't want to play anymore.

But, I think the most important thing is to have a coach with patience. We've been so lucky to have someone like this. He sees when my son gets frustrated during a game, and tries to get him involved by kicking him the ball or having him score. Whenever my son doesn't pay attention or starts goofing off, I try not to get involved, and the coach usually gets him back into it.

Skittles said...

Sorry I haven't been around much. I keep up with you on Facebook though even if I don't comment.

Anonymous said...

One soccer season like the one you've just described and that was it for me. I started coaching. Turns out, my daughter likes it enough that this is her sixth season playing soccer.

I figure, if you can't beat 'em, join 'em. I'm playing again, too, for the first time in 17 years. It's an awakening of a whole 'nother kind, and my daughter is right there to offer encouragement, kind words, technique tips and ice packs for the boo-boos.

Sometimes, the biggest failures are the biggest opportunities. Not always, but sometimes.

Best of luck with the little ones... you're doing just fine.

Peggy said...

Oh Robyn, Sorry I haven't had a moment to check your blog lately...
I think you already answered your own question, maybe at 3 years of age he isn't ready yet.
My daughter has had similar incidents with her son,and I would tell her that so much of these things are just stages or wait until he is ready.
I have SOOO many incidents I could share but of the top of my head...My 2nd son would cry everytime we took him to Sunday School when he was 4. The teachers kept telling us to just leave him and he would get over it, but after a few times I finally said, "He's just not ready yet.." A year later he was eager to go and no more tears.
They are little for such a short time and sometimes we think they are ready for things when they are giving us signs that they aren't, and that's ok-everyone has their own time table on things.
We have coached baseball and softball for years, and some kids are so beyond the normal development of 6 and 7 yr. olds tha tit makes the other kids look behind. Give them a few more years and they are where they should be and often times out shining the ones who were the "super stars":) I love to see that happen and it happens more often than not.
Enjoy the break from all that pressure!