Saturday, August 15, 2009

Gracie's cursed clothes...



Some days you should stay in bed.
Yesterday? One of those days...
It was a comedy of disasters all day long....OH WAIT...
did I say Comedy? .....it might be funny in...Oh..say...a year from now....
Maybe it was the outfit I put Gracie in...
I told Kendal that morning,
every time this child wears that outfit....
something happens...
hmmmmmmm......


I went to Walmart in the morning after I dropped Kendal off for work...
Smart move, Right?
It is nice and quiet there in the morning...
It is the only time of day I don't mind shopping there...
and it was ok...till I left....maybe that was my mistake.
Leaving...

The Walmart minions of evil wanted me to stay and spend every last dollar...
I was being punished for my independence...
imagine...going to Walmart for ONLY TWO THINGS!

I backed out of my spot...and BANG!
Confused, I got out and looked aroun
d...
didn't hit another car...
No midgets, children, cats or dogs under my wheels....
no Walmart employees....(Too bad....)
I figured that since no one was dead or wounded,
I could leave and drive home...
where I got out of the car to hear...
Hissssssssssssssssssssssssssssss
sssssssssssssssssssssssss

Down on my hands and knees...(much to the amusement of my toddler)
I crawled around the tires, trying to identify who was hissing at me...
and I found the culprit pretty quickly...
Mostly because there was a HUGE piece of metal sticking out of my wheel...
(Apparently the midget h
ad a shopping cart...)


I immediately found out what my super power is...
Faster then the speed of light, I tossed toddler and baby into their
car seats, and threw...(really) the groceries into the house,
terrified the tire would go flat and I would have to call a tow truck...

I stopped at two gas stations along the way,
once to fill the tires, and the other to check it...
batting my eyelashes at some uns
uspecting guy who was
filling his tires so he would fill mine too...
I made it to Midas without incidence...


They saw me right away...
(By the way..for anyone who lives here
they are the North store...they are awesome..)


The kids weren't TOO bad while we were there..
Jeremy jumped up and down in the door buzzer
until the poor guy in the back came up and asked if Jeremy
could stop, cause the buzzing was driving the mechanics to insanity....
(I must already be there...I never even noticed...)
Gracie got filthy crawling on t
he floor...
and tried to eat the grass hopper she was chasing...
In the end...it all took about 45 minutes...
but then I went to pay...
Not ONE tire...No...

Not even TWO tires...
BUT THREE TIRES...
needed work...
I felt sorry for the poor mechanic..
I must have looked kind of scary with that manic
look in my eye...
as I looked for my bank card to disco
ver
IT WAS MISSING!
The guy very wisely
(and quietly)
told me I could come back and pay,

when I had gone home to get it,
or found my husband....
by then...

the
black
migraine
of
death
was
happening....
I had spots forming befo
re my eyes...
but because I am an IDIOT..
after I had found my bank card
I went to Costco ANYWAYS!
Shopping was pretty uneventful..
except that is was as busy as freakin CHRISTMAS!
Jeremy went to sleep,
which you might think was a
good thing...
but NO.
It meant the cursed
NO NAP..
I live for naps.
I wait all day for them.
It is my time to have QUIET!
and some form of PEACE
.
Jeremy slept till the minute I walked in the house..
and I had laid Gracie down..
and then his innocent (mocking)
little eyes opened up...
and he said
"I wuv you mommy!"

I drugged myself heavily...
(for the migraine)
and lay down...hoping the boy would see the error of waking up now..
and tried to convince him to go back to sleep...
and we curled up together and had a blissful two hour nap...
RIGHT.....That really happened.....
I finally got up, and told Jeremy to come with me
and we went out, and mowed the lawn
..
(the only thing I actually accomplished that day.)
I tried weeding, but the second Jeremy and I got busy,
It started pouring...
I was soaked in seconds...
After Gracie woke up,
We went back to Walmart...

(Yes, I really did something that dumb...)
to get what I actually went to Costco for.....
(baby wipes)
That was when a lady really made my day...
She took one look at me in line...



and said..
"You look like you are having a rough day...
Why don't you go ahead of me in line!"
What a SWEETHEART!
She looked a little afraid of me though,
after a grabbed her face and gave her a great big fat KISS!
(kidding)
The rest of the day was a mixture..
Jeremy was miserable because he missed his nap,
Gracie was uncharacteristically miserable
because she was teething...
and I never got the house cleaned.
I am a bad mommy...
We had fruit loops for supper.....

When Kendal came home,
I told him that I would rather it was the day of the bleach storm again...
(cause it never happened to me...LOL)
and that Gracie was never EVER wearing that cursed outfit again.
We are sending it to some other poor unsuspecting child.....
Someone whose parents we hate.......

5 comments:

JamericanSpice said...

You poor woman!

I will just give you a HUG!

JamericanSpice said...

P.s my summer is not that eventful :)

It's hot and miserable and dull....going crazy with kids inside

Colin said...

Thank you for sharing your miserable, pitiful existence with the world Robyn! It makes the miserable things in my life seem like minor annoyances... in fact I really don't know what was bothering me before.
Thank you so much for having a bad day!
(and I'm glad that I'm far enough away that you can't hit me)

Louise said...

Haha! I can laugh cuz it happens to me & yes, we eat froot loops for supper too :) As for the tire shop, I had to take all four boys with me just before Christmas (not a huge deal since we were just hanging out living in a motel anyways, except it was dang cold out) and anyways, the new subdivision has lotsa nails & screws which no one cares about... Miles had called the tire place for me since he takes his business vehicles there all the time & said 'my wife is coming in with four kids - can you get her through ASAP?' they supposedly agreed to do so but 2.5 hours later I was still there waiting (trying to keep a crawling babe away from mouse traps etc), only to realize when they told me it was done & nothing was wrong, that I had told them the WRONG tire! Argh! Of course I didn't confess to them but did feel a little stupid having to tell Miles that after that long wait, our problem wasn't solved yet. So in Rosetown, on Boxing Day, some poor soul got summond in to fix our tire :)

Then, six months later, as we were en route to hubby's 20 yr high school reunion, pulling the trailer which was loaded with all the food for the entire group for the whole weekend, we get another screw in the tire... so we did what you did - threw everything else in ASAP, found a neighbour with a compressor & pumped the tire way too full, got to Fountain Tire at 5pm and made it to the reunion registration in time, before 6:30pm in Caronport!!

Guess I'm glad I have boys, so we won't get the outfit - I will warn all our non-blogging friends at mom's group though :)

Robyn Jones said...

LOL....I feel better now....